In hindsight, I have found myself greatly pleased for the fortunes which befell me by being deprived certain pleasures which I clamoured for truly. I was not wise enough to think of the transcendence of things and the inevitability of change, and that as the world evolved, so did the taste of man. I am grateful that, because I know, that had I had the misfortune of those things which I desired, they would have very likely not satisfied me, or at worst, cut my life short. Many of those things, I look back, and wonder why I needed them, of what utility, of what grand benefit indeed? So that I seemed like a child desperate for a plaything as though that would be the end-all and be-all of his desires, yet the very next moment, his passions have changed. They are indeed such fleeting things, many of our desires, only momentary pleasures to bring. I do believe to a great deal that had I gotten many of the things I craved, they would have brought me more harm than good. My gratitude for the things I was denied are diametrically greater than the things I was given.

 

It is so also with my love life, where certain women who have tickled my imagination no longer appeal to me; and I have caught myself wondering why at first I was in love with them. It is the fashion of providence to bring choices your way, but either ways — whether you choose or not, these seemingly small choices (or indecisions) alter our life’s journey greatly, so that we are either made or marred. I look back and thank God I was not with those women, nor do I think any of them would have been better for me today. I am contented with where I am, and it seems the things which are really mine found their way to me. If I were to return to the past, I say, if I were given another opportunity at those options, I would likely detest them, or at best ignore them, but will never seek them to be mine however shiny it seems